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How to Win Friends and Influence People – a Jersey Girl’s Version

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How to Win Friends and Influence People – a Jersey Girl’s Version 

By Ayelet Shimron

Dale Carnegie said it best, we all want to know the secret of “how to win friends and influence people”, but if you’re as busy as the next person you probably don’t have the time to sit and read 214 pages of self-help. So… I’ve done the work for you and given you the readers digest version in a nutshell! Of course I’ve added a little bit of Jersey Girl swag to it. Enjoy!


We’ve all been around those likable people who seem to attract so much attention from anyone and everyone around them. What is it about them that makes their effortless popularity seem so natural? It’s not like they have anything better to say than we do. Yet, they are likable and know how to demand attention form an audience… without even trying! What is it that makes these individuals so likable?


After hanging around these likable people who attract popularity left and right, and analyzing the crap out of them, I managed to pick up on the subtle clues that we so often overlook in everyday conversation… Hey, it’s what I do!

Overall, I realized that getting people to like you is much simpler than we think!




Here are my 3 steps on How to Get People to Like You:


Step 1 to becoming likable: Become a Giver


We’ve all heard the well known adage, “what goes around comes around.” When it comes to getting people to like you, the key is give without expecting in return. We all know how good it feels to receive something from someone. Heck, department stores have mastered this as an art! “Buy one get one free” was not created out of thin air. Everyone loves free sh*t, it just makes us feel good. Now imagine receiving something for no reason from a family member or a friend. It lets us know someone was thinking about us. Even when you’re out at a bar and a friend of yours buys you a drink… just because! We hold onto these memories and remember them because it triggers an area of the brain that sends a signal to the heart telling us this person cares. When it comes to getting people to like you always remember, “What goes around comes around.” You may not be aware of where the return comes from, but rest assured, the simple act of giving is guaranteed to have a much greater turnaround. It’s a win-win for everyone involved!


Step 2 to becoming likable: You’re Never Fully Dressed Without a Smile
When is the last time you hung out with a Debbie Downer who spent hours complaining, only to leave you wanting more of their company? Ummm… never!

Likable people understand that the best way to lure someone in is through a smile. I’ve always said a smile is a woman’s sexiest curve… the same goes for men. For starters, smiles are incredibly contagious. You smile at someone, they smile back. It’s a result of the mirror receptors in our brains. Smiling at people, whether on the street or in conversation, is one of the easiest and most effective ways to get people to like you and increase your popularity dramatically.




Step 3 to becoming likable: Have likable body language   

Likable people have a natural poise and demeanor that makes others warm up to them instantly. Here are a list of the most effective body language gestures that demand likability.

  • Eye Contact: Always show your interest in another person by making direct eye contact and limiting the outside distractions.
  • Mirroring: People like people who walk, talk and act like them. If someone places both elbows on the table, you do the same. If someone is speaking very energetically, you speak energetically as well. If someone talks with their hands, you use your hands in conversation as well. Mirroring is one of the most persuasive ways to get people to like you. It’s a concept that the top salespeople and politicians use when negotiating deals.
  • Be relaxed and interested: Poise says a lot when engaging in conversation. Nervousness and anxiety comes across in communication and can make the other person respond with this same nervousness and anxiety as well. Keeping a relaxed and engaged demeanor shows the other person you’re not only confident, but you’re easy to talk to as well.