The Definition of Love
by Ayelet Shimron
What is love? What is love suppose to look like? What is love suppose to feel like? What is love suppose to be like? We are so quick to throw the word LOVE around without first understanding the true meaning of love. What if love does indeed come down to a few basic principles, that if kept, can have the potential to transform our lives into one of passion, comfort and pure joy?
What is the definition of love?
Love is an essence that cannot be put into words. Love is the greatest experience of all. To love is to experience The Ultimate. And to confine The Ultimate into a bundle of jargon and mere vernacular is to take away from the experiential element that Love Ultimately is.
It would not be fair to give a term like LOVE a written definition because love is beyond words. However, there are ways to cultivate the experience of Love and get you into a state where love becomes who YOU are. It becomes your very essence.
The 3 Steps to Cultivate True Love:
1. Self Discipline
Don’t make love a hobby, make it a ritual, like brushing your teeth every morning. Let’s learn how to master the art of love the way a painter masters his craft of artistry. Any form of mastery requires practice. Whether you are a doctor, athlete, singer, carpenter, or an artist; whatever your position in life may be, it was only perfected through consistent polishing of your particular skill set. And like anything else in life, perfection requires discipline.
Let’s begin with self discipline for love as a part of your life. Think of it as breathing, we need to do it to survive. The first thing we do when we enter into the world is take our very first breath. The last thing we do before exiting this world is take our last and final breath. It is a constant, something that does not, or cannot change nor vary. It occurs without the need to be conscious of it.
Through self discipline, eventually, love will start to flow naturally through your body. What’s even more fascinating is that over time, love is no longer perceived as a discipline, but it becomes a need. In order to live you need to feel love for all activities, beings, and even more-so, for yourself. Love is what gives meaning and purpose to your life.
In today’s over stimulated consumer culture, it is rare to find one individual who lacks the skill of “multi tasking.” Everyone is always on their phone while engaging in a physical conversation. We’ve all heard the “Yea, I’m listening to you, just need to answer this text real quick” line. You do many things consecutively; you may be in front of the computer, eating your dinner, talking on your cell phone and listening to music all at the same time! You are the consumer with the open mouth, eager and ready to swallow everything – pictures, liquor, knowledge and most of all search for true love. However, love requires conscious awareness and concentration, as do all these multi tasking abilities you have. Reason being, it is one of the easiest human attributes that so often becomes corrupt.
Next time you find yourself on the verge of becoming angry or frustrated at someone else, stop for a moment, focus on yourself for a change, and ask yourself if you can have enough self restraint to stop yourself from getting angry. You may find that after doing this exercise a handful of times, that you begin to gain more self control. Let’s try harder to use this control to focus more on love and what love is. Focus more on being present and accepting each and every moment for what it is. Its meaning, its purpose, its significance. A lot becomes diluted when being buried in your phone or computer all day.
A person who wants a perfect body does not pick up a 100 lb. dumbbell so easily. However, they begin with a weight appropriate to the needs of their individual body, and with discipline, concentration, patience, and practice you build your way up. Begin to work out your patience muscle through the incorporation of discipline and concentration, and you will soon find that patience comes naturally and requires not much effort at all. Don’t try to rush things.
“Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does. Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.” – James A. Baldwin
Things will happen the way they are supposed to without you worrying or forcing them to happen. Have you noticed that when you eat a big meal, if you devour every bite too quickly and anxiously you end up with a stomach ache. However, if you take the opposite approach and you eat with patience, you begin to taste and savior every single bite with a completely new awareness and appreciation. Have the same approach to love.
Make the conscious decision to love wholly and completely right now at this very moment. Give love everything you’ve got. But also understand that you are human and that we have human emotions that come with the gift of life. One thing we weren’t given was a handbook on how to love. Become an artist of love and constantly mold your craft to become one of perfection until you’ve created a lovely masterpiece.
The more patience you have with love, the more you will learn about yourself, as well as your partner. Give your lover all the love you can possibly cultivate at this very moment, but never stop there. Explore every crevice of love there is to explore. Go deep into love’s mysterious grotto. Life’s most valuable and beautiful treasures are found in the cave’s that require you to dig deep.
Love can be defined by any activity that we fully devote ourselves to. This allows us to acknowledge that love is made up of everything in existence. For example, love is neither having expectation, nor is it a feeling of possession. Love is simply the ability to feel complete within yourself. It’s the feeling of knowing that you are on the right track. The feeling of staring at yourself in the mirror as you would an intimate partner, and seeing a light inside you that only love can bring out from within.