How to Get Out of a Poisonous Relationship
HELP! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!
“He was a different person when we first met.”
“She was not as bitchy when I first asked her to be my girl.”
“He used to be more considerate of my needs and paid so much more attention to me.”
“She used to tell me how much she appreciated me and she used to make me feel like her prince charming.”
What happened in the past few months or years to make your relationship take such a drastic leap straight into the tunnels of Hell? When did you fall into an unhappy relationship?
This is what happened…
A relationship is the sum total of your communication.
Clearly, some sort of disconnect in your communication has taken place to get you from a time of blissful union to where you are now – a place where every remark that comes out of your mouth is intentionally meant to pierce your partner where it hurts.
If you’re at the point in your unhappy relationship where you feel stuck, the point where you’ve established rapport with your boyfriend or girlfriend’s family and friends, the point where you’re in too deep and can’t catch a glimpse of the EXIT sign… relax. I’m here to shed some light on your current situation.
1. Ask yourself, “Is this relationship serving me?”
I’ve always said, “the opposite of growth is death.” If you’re not growing in any given direction that is towards the overall betterment of YOU, then you’re dying inside. Ask yourself if the relationship you’re in is serving you.
If it’s making you a better person. If it’s allowing you to achieve all the goals you’ve created for yourself. If your relationship doesn’t serve you and make you the best version of yourself possible, it’s time to reconsider.
2. Understand that It’s painful to leave… but it’s more painful to stay.
We’ve all been in a relationship that hurt. Some relationships may have downright sucked. What we tend to do is get really comfortable with a person, create a routine that involves them, then find that we become stuck because we’re afraid of kicking them out of this routine. The pain of letting go happens out of fear of being alone. There is also a fear of not finding someone new. At this point we find ourselves in a predicament because as much as we know this unhappy relationship isn’t the right one for us, it becomes painful to go through the breakup phase. The goal is to remind yourself that each and every day spent with the wrong one, is one day further away from finding the right one. And as painful as it may be to make your escape, the real pain is a result of not doing what YOU know to be right. The breakup is not easy, but if you’re being honest with yourself, neither is the relationship.
3. Get Yourself Uncomfortable.
Yeah I said, get yourself yourself uncomfortable. Change only happens when you do something that makes you uncomfortable. Nobody has ever experienced transformation by staying in the same place. Progress is human nature’s way of finding happiness, and progress happens as a result of change. If you desire a relationship that serves you, a relationship that you’ve always dreamt of, it’s important to do the one thing that will make you the most uncomfortable. Even if that means leaving the person you’re currently with. When you stretch your comfort zone, the universe responds in ways that will surprise you for the better. When you prove to the universe that you are ready to make that change, and when you are willing to make yourself uncomfortable, you prove that you are worthy of attracting someone who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve. The breakup is uncomfortable, but sometimes it’s the best thing for your soul to make room for something new and better.
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